Every article I write is intended to help you remain calm, playful, and connected as a parent, spouse, and best friend.
Nobody slides into 2023 quite like my hubby (whom I adore).
As the front wheels spin beneath us, three muscley men on the front porch ahead of us spring into action.
Victor jumps out of our family-friendly minivan to assess the scene as I answer questions from the littles as to why we have stoped.
5 minutes earlier…
We are leaving Broken Bow, Oklahoma at 1015am on January 1st, 2023…exactly 15 minutes after checkout time.
We start cruising on the two lane, paved highway when one of the little’s car seats seems a bit too wobbly.
As we pull off onto an extremely bumpy dirt road of what appears to be a new development of luxury cabins, the only other signs of life are empty beer and soda cans from workers who took the day off.
We reach a DEAD-END
and suddenly SLIDE into a ditch!
Fast forward 5 minutes….
One of the three muscly men asks me to roll down my window. I hold Penelope’s muzzle on my lap to prevent her from attacking as he laughs, “I’m sure you couldn’t be more proud!” pointing to the car and glancing at my hubby rearranging rocks near the front tires.
I smile as I’m simply grateful for these eager helping hands.
One of the other men is already attaching a strap to the back of our van and the third man is approaching in his King Ranch Monster Truck.
“These guys love this $?*+” Victor smiles relieved as they lurch us from the ditch.
Yes. I can assuredly tell you that The Mangonas literally SLID into 2023.
I only wish I had video to prove it!
And I am always proud of my hubby!
This is certainly not the first time he has rescued our minivan and family from what the previous years have given us!
We welcome 2023 with open arms!
I am so grateful for humanity, good people, family, MY HUBBY, and monster trucks!
What does marital interdependence mean to you and what does it take to achieve it and maintain it? In other words, what makes a successful marriage and how does it last?
First let’s talk about what does not make a successful marriage.
Relationships are not an emotional vending machine. We cannot pick what we want our partner to feed us and expect them to make us feel a certain way. If we want to be happy, we must first CHOOSE to be happy.
If we aim to mold or change our partner, we set ourselves up for relationship havoc.
So what makes a successful marriage?
A relationship requires trust, individual happiness and shared goals.
Your spouse’s only job is to be loved by you. Drop the expectations. Throw away the manual and exist from a place of love and support.
Love is not a fairytale or the perfect instagram photo. Love is failing, and failing again, and continuing to communicate, listen and hold space. Love is real life. Love has ups and downs and is rarely if ever 50/50.
Relationships take time, attention and patience. Not everyday or every moment will be magical, but everyday does have the potential to provide growth and bonding as long as you vow to unconditionally love.
Stop being so defensive.
Stop shutting down.
If you can decrease the amount of time and energy you waste yelling, criticizing, defending, or shutting down, think of how much happier you could be in 2023.
Childcare is a little…but important sliver of the pie to having a connected marriage and the life and career you dreamed of.
Now bigger pieces of the rest of the pie are unconditional love, repair techniques, intimacy, in-laws, and Money to name a few.
Let us begin with childcare because it is much easier than you think, as we will discuss, and when you have the wind behind you, you will be ready for more slices of the pie!
Calm, curious, and creative headspace made the entire day a success.
Calm when no one else is has a ripple effect.
Curiously questioning why and creatively devising solutions.
Do you want to potty now or in 5 seconds?
Do you want to wear this dress or this dress over your pajamas?
Do you want to get in your car seat by yourself or do you want me to put you in?
Thank you for this amazing ride.
What have you learned?
Life just is.
Sometimes it may feel as though things are getting dumped into us when the reality is life just happens.
It is how we choose to narrate our story that matters.
It is how we react to every twist and turn that ultimately determines our happiness.
Sometimes I kick and scream too.
Until I realize I am prolonging my own suffering.
Once I figure out what it is I can control and focus on that, the pain softens and life becomes more enjoyable.
As a family of 5 (+ a poodle), one of us is always sick.
Plans often change.
Flexibility is one of the keys to happiness in my home.
My daughters never want to pose for pictures when I want them too.
My three girls never want to shower, or go tinkle, or eat when I ask them to.
It has to be fun. So when I get over my own need for control and start to enjoy the everyday struggles, the entire day lightens.
Love someone the way they want to be loved. Maybe that starts with you.
Does life happen for you or does life happen to you?
#lifegoals #headspace #lifecoachingtips #workingmom #family #lifecoach
I can’t say I’ve ever spent an evening on the basketball court in my life.
Except that one time Victor and I rehearsed our wedding dances.
This girl LOVES basketball. She has been dribbling nonstop for 2 weeks.
The ball is literally glued to her hand.
As the smallest girl on her team, she brings the passion.
Her desire to play literally has no boundaries.
On the court, anything is possible for her.
She even imagines herself making baskets and recounts her stories to everyone she meets…even the other moms at the playground we have never met and the guy walking his dog across the street.
In her eyes, she makes baskets.
If the ball touches the net, her eyes FILL with excitement.
May she never ever lose her ability to vision!
What is your vision?
What fills your eyes with passion?
When will you go for it?
I attend this conference every year because it is a blast hanging around the speakers and attendees.
I not only walk away inspired with new ideas, but also motivated to reach goals I never thought possible.
The lecturers are phenomenal and the networking is insane.
Why network? I love networking because connection is one of my top life values.
I find true joy in life only when my “to-dos” are in alignment with love and connection, growth, and/or contribution.
I will also be speaking, so I would LOVE to see you there!
Register with my affiliate link by December 5th in order to receive the swag bag!
I am also throwing in bonus Goals Setting group coaching calls before and after the conference for those of you who register through my link in bio!
If your love language is words of affection (whose isn’t?), then tell me, how do you talk to yourself?
If you can’t say anything loving to yourself, then who will?
Think about the most loving & lovable people you know.
Do they constantly beat themselves up or do they appreciate their strengths while humbly accepting their weaknesses as opportunities for growth?
PRACTICE DAILY SELF LOVE:
Let’s keep it simple.
1. Name one of your strengths below.
2. Repeat it out loud: “I love myself because…(fill in the blank with a strength.)”
3. Make sure your littles hear you.
Become an example of unconditional love for yourself and those who look up to you.
Words of affection can be spoken by YOU to YOU!
I love myself because…
#lifecoach #relationshipcoach #physicianmom
It takes courage to let others be wrong.
To live your life on your own terms.
To seek joy when so many are suffering.
To know you deserve relationships which strengthen you instead of pull you down.
A recurrent theme I have noticed pop up over and over again this month.
It takes courage to…
Fill in your desires.
I am handing out courage today just as it was handed to me by multiple heroines in my life, especially recently.
Take it please.
There will always be more.
(from a five year old)
1. It’s okay if people say no. This means nothing about you. Go to the next person. There are A LOT more “right fit” people out there than you think.
2. Make it EASY to say yes. (i.e. If they don’t have cash, accept alternative payment options.) Figure out what it is they want.
3. Persistence and passion are key. Sell something you love and BELIEVE others will love it too. It WILL sell out if you do this.
4. STOP thinking about your enemies or “the doubters”. STOP asking yourself, “but what will they think?” Everyone is either your best friend or a potential customer. EVERYONE. No one else matters!
5. The feeling of cash in your hands is NOT greed. It is the feeling of security, freedom, and generosity. BE the Loving, free, and generous soul you are AND make money:)
Our little Shinola bear has been begging us for three months to make money. As soon as she turned age 5, she began expressing concern about making money to support herself. Perhaps this is because we constantly remind her to, “Bring your money next time” when she gets the “gimmies” at EVERY store we go into.
After endless concern, my hubby suggested she start selling things to make money. Since she decided lemonade, she’s been asking every morning for WEEKS if today is the lemonade stand day.
Finally it happened! My hubby took all three girls to the park with the lemonade and lemonade sign.
On her own accord, Shi went up to every person she saw with her sign. She stated she would take cash or Venmo and SHE SOLD OUT! In less than an hour.
When she got back from the park, I asked her if anyone said no. At first Shinola said she didn’t feel anything when people said no and that she just walked up to the next person. Later on, she told me that EVERYONE said yes because they all wanted her lemonade! Either way is a lesson for me:) and for every entrepreneur out there.
PASSION, PERSISTENCE, AND CLARITY!
Wow. What I learn from my children (and Simone!). They blow my mind.
How will this help you today?
Getting three girls to sit at the table without falling out of their chairs, or fighting each other for the best seat, or pulling each other’s hair because the other is not listening doesn’t happen all the time.
Getting three girls to go potty, find clean undies, dress themselves, AND brush their hair AND teeth takes no less than 60 minutes in my house.
Sometimes it takes two hours.
When we capture a calm moment like this on camera (not the normal chaos), my heart fills with pure JOY. I can’t help by okay it over and over again in my head.
Why not fill our headspace with these gems and decrease the moments that don’t serve us?
Is it that simple?
Can we choose?
It’s moments like these that remind me what my life is all about.
Even amidst the continual chaos of my three tiny human girl home, I have learned to become content with it all.
The struggles actually become more of a game to me:)
How can I approach this today?
How can I continue to show my love?
What does this Mama need most right now?
Sometimes it’s a break.
Sometimes it’s self compassion.
Most times it is a big taco hug with whichever humans want to join.
I have found my calm in every storm.
They don’t have to be silent.
They don’t have to be smiling.
They can even cry, scream, and tinkle on the floor.
This Mama knows how to find her joyful place.
Mama said there will be days like this.
Lost in a maze for 90 minutes is not this baby’s idea of fun!
I would say Baby Isla enjoyed the first hour and then she was done.
She wanted to climb all the stairs, cross all the bridges, and stomp through all the puddles on her own.
If she got her way, we might still be wandering around that maze now, a day later…exhausted and starving!
Sometimes finding your own way through the maze of life, marriage, raising children, and perhaps even entrepreneurship is exhausting too.
It just is.
Some of us read books and listen to podcasts to guide us to where we want to go and some of us find mentors and coaches to speed things up even more. To help us create our own clear vision of what we are looking for in life. To create clarity and fulfillment.
Whether that be to figure out how to enjoy the maze more along the way or rearrange the walls and climb out.
Regardless of where it is you want to go, a coach can help you get there faster.
Whoever told you getting married and having children would be easy?
Who told you the romance and intimacy you had before kids is supposed to just stay the same after kids?
If you aren’t actively working on your relationship, it’s probably falling apart.
We spend time on what matters to us and we sometimes we get lost in the chaos and exhaustion thinking it’s not normal when it is.
Find more calm in the chaos and more enjoyment in the exhaustion with evidenced based techniques that work.
This is literally the opportunity you have been waiting for.
Seriously. It is.
I will begin to tell you how my life changed once I started this work two years ago and why it will change yours.
There is no need to debate whether this is for you or not because I know deep within my heart that the journey we are about to take will forever shape your world into magnificence.
I will tell you.
How do I know this will be the best decision you make this year?
Because the tools I have learned and will share with you are the most powerful tools I have learned in my entire 36 years of being.
Once you decide, You will be able to elevate the most important relationships in your life.
You will undoubtedly argue less, love more, & invest smarter.
Do you tend to get defensive in conversations between you and your spouse?
Do you have a want to be right?
Do you wish your in-laws were not like that?
Do you think your MIL of FIL is crazy…difficult…not the way you also prefer them to be?
Do you prefer the scissors to always be in the scissor drawer and then get mad when they have been misplaced?
Do you ever feel like your boss or spouse shouldn’t talk to you like that…
…with those words?
…with that tone?
When the defensiveness, the need to be right, and feeling disrespected and unappreciated stack up…
…little by little
Relationships get rocky.
Divorce becomes more tangible.
And guess who ends up unhappy and angry amd annoyed?
Learn how to find love again.
Come hold my hand sweet friends.
I already hear your heartbeat approaching.
And your pulse awakening.
Let’s rise up together.
If you don’t think this is for you, share with someone you know who needs it before it is too late.
Save a relationship today.
Believe in your partner.
Believe in their dreams, visions, and aspirations.
Believe in them more than they believe in themselves.
I have always believed in my hubby. He dreams big.
His dreams are never easy and usually involve hard work, perseverance, and persistence.
There are no failures. Just challenges along the way.
Opportunities for us to grow individually and together.
And this is one reason why we do it.
How heart warming it is to know our attention to detail and care is welcomed and appreciated.
Our customer service and offer are hard to match…the four seasons (as much as I love them) doesn’t have what we have.
My hubby is definitely the vision behind our real estate business, and for this, Thank you @vmangona for never doubting in what is possible. I have never once doubted your ability to make anything happen.
I may “occasionally” complain of all the phone calls I make to handy men, security alarm services, and guests, but at the end of the day, I am truly grateful.
Serving others serves us all.
Why do you do what you do?
How can you believe in your partner more than you already do?
I love these Mamas
Life is 50/50. You will not always be happy 100% of the time. But when you find yourself too often frustrated and upset, ask yourself…
What do I need in this moment to fill my cup and how can I provide this for myself today?
I knew I would miss by babies. I almost cancelled at the last minute because I thought maybe I had been away too long already during my 10 day COVID isolation.
I’m super glad I didn’t cancel and allowed myself the permission to be away from my babies. I allowed myself the permission to just be me.
This time not to isolate but to connect with mothers who just get it. To be my myself. To allow them to be themselves.
No one else will give you permission.
We are mothers who love our children and who also love ourselves.
Last night we were making gingerbread houses as my children could not wait a second longer and Shinola pauses to ask me if our babysitter is coming over tomorrow. I said yes. She then asks if our babysitter will be putting her to sleep. I said yes followed by why do you ask? Shi replies she just wants to know.
She just likes to know.
I then have flashbacks to when she was 2 years old and leaving the house was filled with drama, tears, and vomit, and yet I kept planning date nights while experimenting with different techniques as we left the house.
It turns out she really appreciates being prepped. Planning once a week date nights is now something that is normal and expected for our 5, 3, and 1 year olds.
On occasion evening shifts, late night coaching sessions, or social activities require a bit more child care coverage at bedtime. Shi has been quick to note that three nights in a row of someone putting her to sleep other than family is not okay. Also good to know. I love putting my babies to sleep and still will until they say no more…which won’t be for another 20 years. 😝
I am so thankful for date nights & babysitters. They are GOLD.
#marriageadvice #couplesgoals #physicianparents #lifecoach #mommywisdom
Do you know what makes me the BEST mama, wife, and physician I can possibly be?
Taking care of myself first.
When my cup is full, no amount of chaos or negative energy can weigh me down.
This physician mama is living intentionally.
Coaching has given me the power I never knew I had. I no longer wait for things to happen to me. I make things happen for me.
When will you stop believing life is happening to you and start believing that life is happening for you?
Let me know. I can guide you on your way.
I ask as she sprawls in the grass staring at the sky. Soon to be joined by her sisters as I hurriedly try to shuttle them into the car so we are on time for music lessons.
Cata: We are THINKING!
Me: About what?
Cata: Just thinking about life.
Me: *wow. My 3 yo is so profound. I want to be just like her*
Sometimes being “on time” means creating a few minutes to reflect on whether we are actually living our lives in alignment with our values.
If you value joy, love, & connection, then make time for those first.
Is being “on time” one of your top life priorities?
What does this even mean?
To my children it’s a completely foreign concept.
They are always exactly where they need to be.
Why “on time”?
What is the urgency?
Is anyone actively dying?
If not, then why are we always in a rush?
Is the next thing on our agenda TRULY what we want to be doing?
Is the next thing on my to-do list really going to bring us joy, love, or connection
If not, why are we doing it?
Sprawling in the grass and thinking is exactly what we want to be doing right now.
This is true joy and connection.
Music class can wait.
. Delegate more responsibilities to your children!
It doesn’t matter if they are only 3 years old, they can still be responsible, loving, and helpful members of your family.
I have a lot more to say about this. Just ask.
2. Prioritize LOVING yourself, spouse, and children ABOVE checking the to-dos off your list. The ✅ provide you a false sense of accomplishment while your true life values remain neglected.
I have soo much more to say about this. So tell me what is standing in your way?
Why do you prioritize the to-dos over connection with your family?
3. Embrace your femininity.
This can be how your dress, decorate your home and/or lead your team. You don’t have to be masculine to prove anything. Leading with your feminine guidance and love makes you even more powerful, engaging, and effective.
How do you allow your femininity to shine?
#physicianmom #physicianlifecoach #womenempowerment
🌺 Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of your relationship with everyone.
🌺 Self-care is NOT a pedicure.
🌺 Intermittent fasting doesn’t just have to revolve around food. It can also be eliminating the garbage from your life (ie mindless scrolling, hateful commentary, and upsetting or disturbing news)
🌺 Your future self is not better than your current self. She/he is simply different.
🌺Intentionality is creating spaces in your life that are empty.
🌺 Decide ahead of time that it will be magical and it will be.
🌺 When you are unhappy, lonely, or anxious, get curious as to why in a non-judgmental way.
🌺 Incorporating more “of course” into your life when things don’t seem to be going your way, will move you through suffering faster.
🌺 Suffering is inevitable. Pain can be optional.
🌺 Craving something you don’t have causes suffering. Acceptance of what is can ease this discomfort as well as awareness of the impermanence.
🌺 Breathing costs you nothing.
Have you hit yours? (there’s still 101 days left y’all)
1. To be the most present Mother available to me without leaving my life coaching nor physician careers. I want it all half of the time.
2. To speak out more for those who may be suffering in silence.
3. To encourage the creation of joy and space for rest and reconnection.
4. To inspire and motivate my trainees and clients to take responsibility for their own agency, grace and self-compassion.
5. To serve as a guide for professional mothers to take actionable steps towards freedom of time, money, and relationships.
I have never lived my life so aligned with my values as I am living it today.
I have never taken this much time to just enjoy breathing without achieving as I do now.
I have never placed myself so purposely in discomfort in order to fail, grow, and get back up.
What is holding you back? Tell me.
What are your goals for the next 101 days?
One of my clients planned out how she was going to create a thriving integrative health care practice from the ground up and it was electrifying! She knows she is made for something more and is determined to start today.
Another decided she was going to stop avoiding the sense of loss and anger while going through a divorce and simply honor the feelings in her body without running away which was actually prolonging her suffering. She realized there was no rush.
And yet another decided she would start prioritizing evening connection with her family and leave work when the clinic closed instead of perfecting each chart before she left.
And another decided she would start asking herself what she needed in the moment before the anger and rage exploded. She addressed her desire to control every decision her children made, out of fear that they might never be successful if she did not. The weight this places on her. The power she thought she had but actually doesn’t have nor want.
I could go on. The moments we live for.
Do you ever look into the eyes of your child and become overwhelmed with happiness?
It’s more likely to happen to me when I’m at work and my family sends me a picture like this.
First of all, someone else is doing the heavy work of helping her manage her minute by minute big emotions.
Second of all, someone else is the recipient of her constant age-appropriate feedback others may call manipulative or attention-seeking.
Third of all, I’m typically reading a scan of a sick child and filled with gratitude for our health.
This is pure happiness.
These moments remind me why I come to work some days and stay home others.
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